


Into the River to Drown

by curi_o



Series: Pain for Jayne [7]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Content: Angst, Content: Songfic, F/M, Topics: Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-22
Updated: 2006-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 23:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/448546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curi_o/pseuds/curi_o
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d figured out how he was gonna tell her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the River to Drown

**Author's Note:**

> Pain for Jayne prompt: music
> 
> _There were two sisters of County Clare.  
>  (Oh, the wind and rain.)  
> One was dark and the other was fair,  
> (Oh, the dreadful wind and rain.)  
> And they both had a love of the miller's son,  
> (Oh, the wind and rain.)  
> But he was fond of the fairer one,  
> (Oh, the dreadful wind and rain.)  
> So she pushed her into the river to drown  
> (Oh, the wind and rain.)  
> and watched her as she floated down.  
> (Oh, the dreadful wind and rain.)_
> 
>  _— "Wind and Rain", as performed by Gillian Welch on the Songcatcher soundtrack_  
>  
> 
> I hate songfic. Well and truly loathe it. That said, this might qualify as songfic, but, in my defense, I probably wrote it before I knew what songfic was.

* * *

Jayne sat in the mess, tuning his guitar. He’d figured out how he was gonna tell her. He thought he’d sort of ease into it. He glanced at the clock. _No time like the present_ , he thought, and took a deep breath.

“Come all ye fair and tender ladies: Take warnin’ how you court your men…”

As if on cue, she stepped into the room, her sketchbook and pencils in hand, and settled at the table. She was so dainty looking. He’d learned not let those looks deceive him a long time back. River Tam was powerful’n dangerous’n got him all sorts of un-calm.

“…I wish I were a tiny sparrow and I had wings and I could fly…”

Maybe he couldn’t picture himself as a tiny sparrow, but he could see her flyin’ through those doors to face down a roomful of Reavers. 

As they’d waited for their death to smash through the blast doors, he’d allowed himself to think on River Tam, the tiny sparrow-girl who’d sacrificed herself tryin’ to save her family, for the first time.

“…Come all ye fair and tender ladies…”

As he ended the song, he checked his mental set list and transitioned seamlessly.

“’T’was in the merry month of May when all gay flowers were bloomin’…”

Once he’d started thinkin’ on her, he found he couldn’t stop. The way she’d stood after the doors opened, after the Alliance busted through the wall... that image _was_ his dreams now. And her crazy talk, her nonsense, had become a kind of music to him.

“…So, slowly, slowly she gets up and to his bedside goin’…”

They’d become a team since Miranda, effortlessly thwarting threats to Serenity and her crew. Mal didn’t get shot half so often with River on jobs, and when she wasn’t bein’ a sexy weapon, she was keepin’ them all in the black. Jayne decided he loved the young woman who was keepin’ him alive, and he figured it was time she knew it and they made their partnership official.

“…She said, “Young man, you’re dyin’…”

He watched River as she cocked her head, focusing intently. Maybe she was going to dance for him. He’d heard about her dancin’.

“…No better, no better I never will be, ‘til I have Barbara Allen…”

And suddenly it was her voice to his playing, though she continued her drawing as she sang:

“…Don’t you remember last Saturday night, when I was at the tavern? You gave your drinks to the ladies there, but you slighted Barbara Allen…”

Jayne felt like kicking himself. He’d wanted to impress her with folk songs what had been passed down since Earth-that-Was; didn’t even think about them being all about people who died and broke each other’s hearts. Well, he was in it now.

“…He reached up his pale white hands, intendin’ for to touch her…”

River’s voice meshed with his as they sang.

“…She turned away from his bedside…”

Jayne’s voice died as River looked him full in the face for the first time.

“…And said, “Old man, I won’t have you.”

 _Wo de ma_ , she was calm when she was breaking hearts. Just like when she was stoppin’ them in monsters’ chests.

The mess went silent. River held Jayne’s eyes as she gathered her things, then left the mess.

Jayne sighed and went back to his mental set list.

“There were two sisters of County Clare—Oh, the wind and the rain…”

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics quoted are all from traditional English-language songs on the Songcatcher soundtrack. They are, in order:
> 
> "Fair and Tender Ladies" (performed by Rosanne Cash)  
> "Barbara Allen" (performed by Emmy Rossum)  
> "Barbara Allen" (performed by Emmylou Harris)  
> "Wind and Rain" (performed by Gillian Welch)
> 
> (Yes, I know there are two "Barbara Allen"s on the list. That's because there are two on the soundtrack, and the first version, a beautiful snippet sung by Emmy Rossum in one of her earliest performances, deserves equal credit as inspiration.
> 
> Additionally, in the last lyric River sings, she changes the song lyric's word, "young", to the word "old" to suit her own purposes.)


End file.
